New year, new blog.

About me:

My name’s Lisa. Apparently I’m 39, most days I feel somewhere between 15 and 25. I find it kind of offensive that I’m the same age as OLD people, but I have gotten pretty good at faking it. Some days I’m amazed at how professional I can be. Like giiiirl. Who ARE you??

I am so good at pretending that they made me a supervisor. Ha. Imagine that. Then again, many of the people I work with seem to lack a lot of critical thinking skills. And half of them are just lazy as heck. Maybe the bosses just didn’t have much else to choose from...

I’m a security guard, I’m currently working at the hotel quarantine sites in Sydney. The work is pretty easy, although it was RIDICULOUSLY easy before they promoted me, literally sit in a hall and play on your phone for 12 hours. God I miss that. 

Now I’m responsible for running the security of the hotel (with two other supers) and all those guards who play on their phones for 12 hours. Mostly I’m at the same hotel each night, which is good, because its small, so the daily briefing doesn’t take so long and we don’t have SO many guards asking for toilet breaks every 10 minutes. 

On my days off I play video games, draw and watch netflix. Some days I write. I’m working on a book at the moment but I’m kind of stuck so I haven’t worked on it for a while. I really should do something about that. 

I’ve been with my partner Jason for 21 years (next week is our anniversary) we have 4 kids. I used to be a stay at home mother which was fine until my last kid was born, he was so needy I wanted to die every day. Honestly you couldn’t put him him down or he SCREAMED. He’d throw epic tantrums at every single thing, taking him ANYWHERE was a nightmare, I was so confused after having 3 fairly well behaved girls before him. Then he was diagnosed autistic and it felt like my life would consist of nothing but being a slave to him for the rest of my life. I became literally suicidal. After a small stint in an actual nuthouse, Jason offered to take over. IF I could work enough to support them. I agreed. I could work every moment of my life and it couldn’t be as stressful as being a mother to this boy. It was the best decision I ever made. Somehow Jason isn’t stressed as easily as me. When Junior is being a little shit he can handle it, when he’s being a little shit for 8 hours straight, he can still handle it. I don’t know how he does it, he’s just built differently I guess. But it means I get to enjoy my boy, I can see him and play with him and then when I get overwhelmed hand him back to dad. I can go off to work and come home and sleep, UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. Just like it used to be for him when he worked. I used to be so jealous of his life. Now it’s my life. So good. 

I still get these weird, almost PTSD flashbacks though, when I hear a kid crying or having a tantrum in a store though, it just takes me back to when he was a baby and toddler, the non stop crying and screaming even though he is 5 now and doesn’t do that any more at all. You’d think I’d be over it by now. Anyway. 

My other kids haven’t really given me any trouble. Nothing too bad anyway. My mum says it’s coz they’re girls, which I think is weird. She had two kids, a boy and a girl and I was the one who gave her all the problems. The biggest drama I’ve had was when my 18yr old became pregnant. I couldn’t really kick up too much of a fuss though, I had my oldest at 18 too. So now I’m a grandmother. It is what it is. She’s a good baby at least. I wonder how she’d go with a monster like her little brother hehe. 

So, that’s me summed up as best I can. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed naked with a fake tan setting. Mostly because I had literally nothing more interesting to do and I was feeling kind of pale. I think my times up so I’m gonna go see how it’s looking. Adios amigos.